While I am deeply inspired by and intensely connected with the Burning Man festival and community, it does not represent my beliefs.
I am often tempted to identify as a “Burner,” but when I sit with that definition, it doesn’t fit.
My belief system – influenced in part by my experiences at Burning Man – has grown into one of profound love, connection, & gratitude.
But just because these ideas are strongly present on the Playa does not mean they are synonymous.
Burning Man is simply the fertile ground in which any impulse is invited to grow.
Many people find the experience opens up similar things as it has with me. But Burning Man also represents much more. LOTS of things bloom in the fertile soil. Some of it is dark. Some violent. Some snarky and mean. I love it all – but it does not represent me.
So while I itendify strongly as a “Burner” it doesn’t fit as snugly as I’d like.
**
For the past several years I have been working to define what exactly this belief system is. I have called my dabbling, “sampling dishes of the Belief Buffet.” And in the last 6 months my efforts have become more and more intense (and rewarding.) Starting with the ride home from Burning Man in the Hugmobile, Dmitry Shapiro and I have been meeting regularly to discuss our deepening awareness and gain clarity.

The ideas we discuss are not new. They have been expressed 1000 times before by many teachers.
Alan Watts
Krishnamurti
Jesus Christ
Eckart Tolle
Byron Katie
Buddha
Danger Ranger
Caleb Shikles
& many more.

What belief system embodies all of these teachers, embraces the spiritual revelry of Burning Man, bows before the miracles of the natural world, and adopts the technological tools of a connected planet?
THAT is my religion.

To ease discussion, I would like to give this evolving awareness a name. Some thoughts: “The Gift.” “Hevven” “wakeness” “a.wareness.” ???

Hopefully a name will be delivered with the same perfection as the symbol:

During a trip to Mayan ruins earlier this month, I was drawn to a symbol found on my ticket stub. It was not a traditional Mayan symbol, but had a modern + Mayan feel to it. I have had it on my desk all month – continuing to draw me in.
The more I studied it, the more I saw within it so many things we have been discussing. I made some minor modifications to integrate design elements of Burning Man & HugNation and created the symbol below.

This icon symbolizes the beliefs:

We are all made of Stardust.

We are all part of the One.

There is only the Now.

Life is a Gift.

The purpose is to Experience.

The flow is Love.

Originally published at LifeStudent WordPress Hub. You can comment here or there.

So all our Christmas presents added a hefty chunk of change to my to-do list.

1. My in-laws bought us a PS3! But now I have to completely rework my media center. My receiver only has one digital input channels, which is throwing a wrench into how I'm going to set up my sound system. It seems nasty to provide the good audio channel to EITHER the digital satellite OR the bluray player... so I have work to do.


2. The PS3 will stream media from my computer! But the wireless connection between my den and my computer room is really weak. This hampers any video streaming, as well as timing out a lot of Playstation updates. I had bought an old Linksys to try and set up a wireless bridge between the den and the computer room, but I need to flash the bios and install DD-WRT to make it a true bridge. There are lots of ways to mess up this process, but I think it needs to be done.


3. Wendy got a new video card! But it requires an 8-pin PCI-E 2.0 power connector... and her power supply doesn't have any. The card came with an 8-pin converter, but the input is two 6-pin plugs, and she only has one 6-pin power connector free. New power supply? New case to house it? Work, work, work.. and money...

Christmas was great. Duncan had a blast, and we all got so many great gifts. There was lots of love... which is all you can really ask for. I just wish it all didn't include a complete trashing of the house... since we had it so perfect the night before. Work, work, work...

• 21:02 "It's Caleb! It's Carter!" (the song) www.lifestudent.com/hub/2009/12/27/its-caleb-its-carter-the-gift/ #
• 21:08 @jenville SO wonderful to see you & @jjeff! btw, Arlo has become a hugging prodigy. Bravo! <3 to you all. #

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For Xmas, I had Matthew Gehrett create a themesong for my nephews. “It’s Caleb! It’s Carter!”

LYRICS:

They like anything with great big teeth

They like dinosaurs, but they hate toy thieves

They like Spiderman and they like to rock

They like Mary Jane, but they hate Doc Ock.

Originally published at LifeStudent WordPress Hub. You can comment here or there.

• 14:02 #oprano: Cheap battery backup for iPhone/iPod that works! www.oprano.info/?p=78 #

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• 10:32 Whew! All Xmas links for the year: (Burning Man Xmas lessons, Adult Letter to Santa, Grandpa, etc.) www.lifestudent.com/hub/xmas/ #
• 11:47 There's nothing quite like the feeling of my freshly shorn ...noggin. Seriously, I can't stop rubbing my head. #
• 13:25 RT @danger_ranger: Benjamin Franklin was a burner. #
• 14:22 "Every day is a practice. Every moment is a miracle. Every breath is a gift." (Repeating this for my own benefit today) #

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The thing I like about cooking is it's insight into culture. Across the globe, the cultivated ingredients are rather small, and while foodies may distinguish between a burrito and a wrap, the spirit is the same. But where foodies get it right is in being archeologists intent on tracking the particular traditions and circumstance.

Cooking is distilled wisdom. A tasty reduction and a launching point for innovation and artistry. It's grounding and a sense of home. It's a window into a different approach to the world and an education into the lives of people who actually make cheese, wine, and all the other tasty morsels that hit our plate, fresh and hot.

It is it's own religion, but only because we've forgotten the essential knowledge, giving it over to the priesthood. And then the marketers stepped in. Something with fromaggio is far sexier than a grilled cheese.

But those traditions and inspirations are important. The pretensions are boring, but the craftsmanship and the lore are fascinating. And like any art, opinions vary widely. And my mom's spaghetti is the quintessential.

From that echoes a million voices, inviting us into their culled wisdom, their ideas of feasting, the local color of their seasons and passions and techniques. It's a wild smorgasbord of not just tastes exploding across the tongue, but insight into the common through the exotic eyes of another. Their history and their humanity.

I ate some cold, leftover ham at a christmas party. After the hit of salt and cold and ham, a subtle smokiness crept in. It was truly beautiful. And I'm pretty sure that that exact experience on my tongue took a while to perfect. It transformed a "shit, I should eat something" moment into something that gave me pause. I'll remember that transition. It was sublime.

Which makes me want to know how they did that.

And you know there's a story behind it...

Please read this because this is IMPORTANT SHIT I've never ever talked about throughout my entire career before.

Before all of you girls start contemplating getting a pair of bolt-ons, fakies, breastices, +2s, etc. PLEASE TAKE ALL OF THIS INTO ACCOUNT AND CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING.

I'm often asked, whether or not my boobs are fake or real, who did my boobs, etc. and I have yet to get into my story as I always felt that it was something that was personal and private and that it had no bearing on who I am or what I am about as a person.

Well... after all these years, I am finally going on the record to say that I am a proud patient of Dr. Motykie's and I give him my endorsement. I recently went in for reconstructive surgery with him on December 16th, 2009.

But it hasn't been an easy path for me leading up to this point... I have had 4 prior surgeries on my breasts and have experienced nothing but problems the whole way through. From having my first doctor cut my pocket too low, to having ripples from hell, to having capsular contracture over and over again, to having two different sized and shaped nipples in two completely different spots... You name it, it's gone wrong with my boob jobs. There were periods of time in my life where I was too humiliated to even take my shirt off in front of a guy so I didn't even date and became cellibate. It's certainly been a journey. I have spent over $40,000 in breast augmentations/corrective procedures. And to spend all that money on something that you are insecure about in the first place and properly do your research and due diligence with thinking you are selecting the right doctors and STILL be right back where you started from ONLY worse, is a completely depressing and devastating situation. Not to mention, reading comments from keyboard warrior aholes on MySpace pointing out the fact that one of my boobs sat higher than the other (capsular contracture) or having the producer on the Diet Dr. Pepper commercial point out that he could see the point (another problem due to capsular contracture) in which my implant was protruding triangularly thru my red Baywatch bathing suit and asking wardrobe if "something could be done about that" wasn't very much fun either. You see they picked ME out of thousands and thousands of beautiful, thin, gorgeous, perfect models and I was the one that was selected to appear in this commercial. And guess what... I wasn't PERFECT! Not that I ever claimed to be, but I really wanted to give them what they were looking for and what they were paying me so much money to be. For a while there, it was just something that was beyond my control and I was unable to fix the problem no matter how many times I tried.

Before meeting Dr. Motykie, I was coming from the mindset in which I had always totally regretted getting my breasts augmented in the first place, was not comfortable at all with the way my implants looked, and wouldn't advise it to any girl that was considering getting them done... but that's a whole 'nuther story right there.

Since meeting Dr. Motykie and having my major breast reconstructive surgery, the end to my "regret story" has since changed. I now have a happy ending and Motykie was finally able to achieve the results that I had originally set out to get years and years ago.

The first thing I noticed about my consultation with Dr. Motykie is that he LISTENS to you and hears what you want out of the surgery. He also takes his time and thoroughly explains everything so that you can make an informed decision and feel completely confident about placing your life in his hands.

Dr. Motykie was able to fix all of my botched surgeries and give me the breasts I've been wanting since I first went under the knife. I was told by a prior doctor (who has since lost his license for putting too large of implants in women against their wishes) that I would be unable to go smaller and that "they wouldn't look right" so I should stick with the 34DDD (800 cc) size I currently was, even though I was extremely uncomfortable in my own skin at that size. Once again Motykie saved the day and was able to reduce my size by 200 ccs and still have them look perfect.

Dr. Gary Motykie also did a wonderful revision job on the scar I got courtesy of working as a professional wrestler for WWE and my resulting two level fusion surgery. I was left with a thick red scar that was noticeably visible but Motykie was able to correct this for me and I am forever grateful for his amazing work.

Dr. Motykie is the God of Plastic Surgery. You may recognize Dr. Motykie from many his many television and media appearances. He's most known for his many appearances on Dr. 90210... but DON'T WORRY, he's not the weird karate guy with the anorexic wife. He is the one who is on that show helping breast cancer survivors that have undergone breast reconstruction but are left with breasts that look and feel alien. He has even received an award from the Celebrate Life Foundation for his dedicated work with breast cancer survivors.

This man is a true artist! Just look over his before and after photos in the portfolio section of his website. Usually doctors specialize in just one thing or another. Motykie has the Midas Touch no matter what his gifted surgeon hands operate on, the results are nothing short of amazing. He's truly gifted and I could not praise him more for what he has done for me! Thank you Dr. Motykie!

And ladies (or men if you swing that way) as an added bonus... there's a reason why he's been dubbed the "Real Dr. McDreamy" and Dr. "HOTykie". Expect to be A LOT a bit wowed about how super hot this lambchop surgeon is... MEEEEEOW!!!! One visit and I just know you'll be saying that "he can put his hands on me anyday"... Hahaha! ;)

For more information, please visit or call the office and tell them Bobbi Billard sent you:

Gary Motykie, M.D.
9201 Sunset Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90069
(310) 246-2355
http://www.DrMotykie.com

It's weird that our President is doing what I normally do for Christmas - go to Hawaii for 10 days. He's staying in my hometown-ish, down the street from my friend's house, and he's probably doing a lot of the things I would be doing there.

I had a good Christmas here in Vegas. On Christmas Eve we went to a friend's house and had dinner with a bunch of people. On Christmas we did nothing and then met friends for dinner at the M Resort. I didn't get too many things for Christmas (except for the boots). I just got my boyfriend a poster/photo print that I customized from Zazzle.com.

I just realized last week that the decade is over soon. I had thought we had another year. ha. New Years of 1999/2000 was the last day I had a "good hair day." I dressed up and my hair looked awesome in the pictures. I was just watching "The Bubble Decade" on TV. This really has been the decade from hell in a lot of ways, as I predicted on LJ back in 2000. Nothing horrible has happened to me personally, so I'm lucky. However I feel like I've done a whole lot of nothing in the past 10 years. I think I lost my motivation in 2003 and have yet to get it back.

• 09:39 Good Morning! I posted a new movies for my members this morning. Enjoy. I'm going to be cleaning my house now. #
• 09:59 Clean up was fast with Bretts help. Rallying the troops to go find breakfast now. Wake Up!!!! TXT me back I'm hungry. :) #
• 10:12 @BBVinny Morning Vinny! :) #
• 10:13 @cubby_scgent He should of won for sure. Glad he got the viewers choice money at least. #
• 10:14 @Shoehead Welcome to my twitterverse. :) Hope to keep you entertained. #
• 10:14 @gishman01 hehe Don't be jealous Gish... he doesn't want me. ;) #
• 10:49 Meeting some friends out for brunch, margaritas and tamales. yummy! #

Visit me at Sammy4u.com Adults Only

• 00:04 My belly is full and my heart is warmed by family, friends, and humanity. Thank you for being a part of me. I love you. #

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My house is full with my 5 kids laughing :))
That's my Christmas!

Post from mobile portal m.livejournal.com

• 03:06 Purr-fect! tweetphoto.com/7187835 #
• 10:28 Good Morning! Enjoy your day, try to work too much. Have FUN! I will be. :) #
• 10:29 Going to finish the last season of Survivor before friends get here to party. No ham, turkey, cookies for us.... VODKA all the way! hehe #
• 15:46 Watching the last episode of Survivor..... come on RUSSEL deserves to win! And he has gorgeous blue eyes. ;) #
• 16:03 Watching the reunion Survivor show now... I love Russel... he's funny and he reminds me some how of @3xtom #
• 16:05 Jaison and Natalie..... please. #
• 16:13 @gishman01 Thank you Gish. I hope you and Misses Gish did too. :) #

Visit me at Sammy4u.com Adults Only